moving
MOVING: A PLAN TO MANAGE STRESS
In hearing the word “moving” what comes to mind? Do you get excited for the new adventure or stressed at the thought? Moving is often viewed by mental health professionals as one of the top stressors people go through. There are logistical stressors: packing up all your belongings, getting them from point A to B, leaving one home, and securing the next. There are also potential emotional stressors: the adjustment of saying goodbye to your home, neighborhood, and perhaps social supports; relocating to a place that may be unfamiliar, re-establishing routines (finding a new hair stylist, dry cleaner, favorite supermarket), and making new friends. Whew! Big changes! Given this, it’s only normal to feel out of sorts, overwhelmed at times, and maybe even anxious or a little depressed in response.
Knowing a move can be challenging, one of the best ways you can reduce stress is to have a plan for an upcoming move. Even if your move is last minute, there are some things you can do to get through the move with as little stress as possible. So, what can you do to make your move as smooth and enjoyable as possible?
1. Start Early
Decluttering is a great first step. You can start this at even the thought of moving. Decluttering not only saves you money as you lighten your load for the movers, but can help you streamline your belongings, keeping only what you really need. Moves are a great time to evaluate what you really use and what you’re saving for “just in case.” Start by going through your drawers and closets--pull items you haven’t touched since you first put them in there. Consider your items and make three basic categories: keep, store, sell/donate. Be sure to start small and do a little over time. Maybe each night you can choose a dresser, closet, or file cabinet. After you get through that one item, take a break until the next day. Seeing the progress of clearing unneeded items out of your life can motivate you to keep going. For more on this topic, check out my blog post on decluttering.
2. Get Organized
A move is a big undertaking whether you are moving solo, with a family, and/or with pets. Use your calendar as a tool to help you get organized. Let your move in date be your guide and then work backward scheduling packers, movers, job end dates and job start dates, school/activity dates for the kids, and flight arrangements if needed. Try to stay organized with paperwork too. Keep a file folder or filing system to track moving papers, house papers, and any other important paperwork. Some people like color coding in the moving process, such as buying totes of one color for storage and another color for items that will get moved, and so on. There are tons of great tips for moving on Pinterest—use resources that are at your fingertips to streamline the process.
3. Keep Routines as Much as possible
One of the hardest parts about moving is being thrown out of routines. Humans and pets thrive on routines. Routines bring certainty, calm, and stability. Moving naturally throws us out of our patterns. You’ll feel it, your kids will feel it, and Fido will feel it. The remedy is to try as best you can to keep routines wherever possible. You could try to keep the same dinner time even if dinner is on a folding table or picnic style on the floor. Try to keep your same sleep/wake times. If you exercise, keep that going; maybe modify your routines if need be—if your elliptical was packed away, try going for a walk or run in your neighborhood instead. You’ll likely be eating more take out during the transition, but can you make healthy choices under those circumstances instead of always choosing fried foods? If the kids have fun playing with their neighborhood buddies, let them continue with that for your sake and theirs. Make sure the pets get some attention during this time too. Kids and pets alike sense the change and will benefit from play time or extra cuddles.
4. Practice Self-Care
Moving is a time for self-care. It may seem like there isn’t enough time for it given all the extra tasks during a move, but this is why it’s even more important during these times. Self-care can come in small chunks. Even with a move, taking 20 minutes for yourself is something you can do most days. Did you know you can access free, 20-minute yoga sessions on YouTube from Yoga with Adrianne? If you’re not a yoga fan, try a brief walk or run. Take time to call a good friend or family member. Try a brief meditation session. You could listen to a relaxing guided meditation; there are many to choose from on your music streaming service or on YouTube. An Epsom salt bath is great for sore muscles that are tired from sorting or packing items. These mini breaks can be a nice way to take a healthy time-out during this time of transition.
5. Get Support
Enlist support wherever you can. Can friends or neighbors keep the kids occupied on moving day? If you’re worn out from the process, outsource where you can. You could hire a service to do the move out cleaning. If anyone in your support system asks you if they can help, say yes! Even if a friend can come make sandwiches for the family during the height of the move, that’s one less thing you’re managing. If you still feel overwhelmed even after trying to manage the changes, you can always consider getting support through counseling. There are therapists who focus on helping people through life transitions (shameless plug for eTherapy!); a little support through some brief counseling work may be all you need during this time of change.
6. Keep a Sense of Humor
Sometimes things will go wrong on the move. There are bound to be glitches. If they’re minor enough hopefully you can keep a sense of humor about the experience. If you want to feel better about any glitches in your move, try the 90s comedy starring Richard Pryor called, Moving. You may have to take some of the scenes with a 90s grain of salt, but overall, it follows a family as they make the tough decision to relocate their family from New Jersey to Boise, Idaho and encounter the world’s worst neighbor, moving company, new home buying experience, and new job experience along the way. If watching this comedy doesn’t make you feel better about your relocation, try watching your favorite comedy movies, listening to stand-up, or watching your go-to sit-coms. Sometimes keeping things light during this time of transition can help you get through it a little more easily.
7. Set Boundaries
Moving times are busy times that can be stressful and tiring. We all have a finite number of resources—that includes physical and emotional energy. Moving times are tough because your friends and family may want get-togethers to say goodbye, and you’ve got packing or sorting to get to or arrangements to make. Try a group gathering to minimize all the get-togethers. If any invites or requests come up that you just don’t have the time or energy to accept, know that it’s okay to say no. Those who care about you will likely understand your situation and know not to take things personally if you can’t accept every invite.
8. Stay Focused on your Why
Going through the stress of a move can leave you wondering why you agreed to do it in the first place. You likely had a good reason and know that the experience is the right choice for you and your family. The move might be motivated by wanting a certain experience, making an exciting career change, or wanting a new way of life. Keep this in mind during the times where you might feel overwhelmed. Stay committed to your why and know that whatever challenges you have in the process will pass.
9. Create a New Space that Welcomes You Home!
You made it through the move and are in your new home and town--now is the time to celebrate! You may be surrounded by boxes at first, but you have a great opportunity to start fresh and design your new home space just as you would like. Savor the process of setting up your new home. You may be selecting some new home décor, arranging your items in a different way in the new layout, and making the changes you had been only thinking about making in your old space. Take in your new neighborhood and start to learn your way around. Depending on your new place, you might be meeting your new neighbors right away. You never know—the people who are new when you get there may turn into great friends.
a special word to military affiliates about moving stress
You may move more often than civilians but that doesn’t make it any easier. Overseas moves, short term moves, uprooting family, and being far from family for extended periods sometimes gets old and can be very stressful. Broken furniture from movers and saying goodbye to good friends with every PCS has its challenges. As a military spouse, Dr. Rozycki understands these challenges first hand. Support from someone who understands is available.
Concluding words about moving.
For all the changes, just know the upheaval is temporary. Whether you’re upgrading or downsizing, a new adventure is upon you. Be present in the process and stay open to what’s ahead!
If you’d like to hear more on this topic, listen to this episode of the On Your Mind radio show where Dr. Stephen Ritz interviews Dr. Alicia Rozycki about managing moving stress.
BENEFITS OF ONLINE COUNSELING
Online counseling saves you time and energy as you access mental health care from your home or office without having to take time out to commute to and from the appointment. Relax in the comfort of your own space as you devote one hour to self-care. Secure platforms are used to protect your privacy. Research shows online therapy and in-person sessions are equally effective. So why not choose the more convenient option? Save time, gas, and minimize stress so that a one-hour appointment takes only one hour and not 3 with traffic.
BEGIN COUNSELING WITH AN ONLINE THERAPIST IN COLORADO, FLORIDA, MARYLAND, AND PENNSYLVANIA
If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed, stop wishing and take an action towards change today! AROSE eTherapy offers a Free 15-minute consult. If you would like to proceed to services after your consult, we’ll book you our next available initial appointment, and you’ll be on your way to healing!
AROSE eTherapy offers over 16 years’ experience in offering mental health services.
ABOUT the author
Alicia Rozycki, PhD
Dr. Rozycki is a licensed psychologist and the founder of AROSE eTherapy, an online therapy practice serving high achieving professional women and military affiliates including active duty, veterans, spouses, and government employees. Virtual sessions are available in Colorado, Florida, Maryland, and Pennsylvania. Learn more about Dr. Rozycki.
